Wacky Mario Merchandise!

Been feeling a bit nostalgic lately, thinking of the cute-as-pie Yoshi Beanie Baby I used to own. Then the thought struck me that there must be heaps of Ninty merchandise out there in the wild world undiscovered! So being the eager beaver I am, I went on a search and boy did I find some... "interesting" products (for lack of a better word, although the word "crap" does come to mind).

What did I find? I'm glad you asked. I found a plethora of interesting items, most of which don't seem to be licensed (which I must say comes as a relief that Ninty hasn't let their standards drop THAT far) - the usual run-of-the-mill toys, stickers, keychains and wallets, and then the not so usual Mario TV trays, shower heads and shampoo. Oh and that strange looking device above is apparently a water squirter.

A quick poke into eBay showed that manufacturers really liked making Mario slippers. Why slippers, I'll never know, but if you ever wondered what it would be like to walk around on the face of two Mario 1UP mushrooms, or walk around dragging what looks like two stuffed, dead Yoshi corpses, well your fetishes have already come true.

But, by far the most disturbing was a Super Mario Ice Cream Bar. Apparently, Mario's face is made of vanilla ice cream, and the rest is made of cherry. Oh, and the nose is a gumball. Yes, innocent sounding enough until you take a look at the picture. Now there's no freaking way in hell that's Mario unless I've drunk more than my body weight in alcohol, and I'm staring at Picasso's rendition of Mario who in a non-coincidence must have also been tripping out or drunk more than his body weight in alcohol when doing the deed.