ARGHHHHHH, it's ELMO!!!!!!!!!

If there's anything in this whole entire universe that can put the fear of God into me more than the sight (nay, even the THOUGHT) of Nikki Webster in a bikini, it's ELMO. Now I know that Elmo has hordes of fans (shockingly quite a fair few who aren't under 3 years of age) but I'm sorry Elmo - I just can't stand you, you ugly freaky bastard. I can't stand your freakishly evil eyes, or your sorry excuse for a nose or that wheedlingly high-pitched gaybo voice.

Nevertheless, lately Elmo products have been popping up faster than acne on a teeny bopper. I was happening to stroll through my local K-Mart when I got the shock of my life from none other than an ARMY of these freaky Elmo chairs:

Check out it's ugly super-deformed eyes and body, and that ridiculous clown's nose. It's PURE EVIL, I tells ya - PURE EVIIIIIIIIIL! I swear, it already looks ridiculous as he normally is, and it's just magnified tenfold in chair form. But the evilness doesn't just end at appearances. Ohhhhhhh no. It also giggles. AND shakes. INTERACTIVELY.

Honestly, can't you just FEEL THE EVIL emanating from this abomination, people? CAN'T YOU FEEL IT??!!?!?!

Mmmm.... Kitty Litter!

There's nothing quite as appetising as the smell and look of a fresh pan of kitty litter. Wouldn't it be nice instead of just smelling and seeing kitty litter, that you could also be able to TASTE it? (That is, without your stomach imploding and collapsing dead from drowning in your own vomit mere moments after.)

Well thank goodness for the wonders of modern day cooking! Now you can create your own KITTY LITTER CAKE! Why, the folks at Fabulous Foods have created a truly crazily original dish which also promises that you'll be licking your whiskers after eating it (so long as you keep your eyes shut throughout the whole process). Made from chocolate cake mix, vanilla instant pudding mix and tootsie rolls, it sure sounds a treat! Now at least you'll have something to serve some pesky unwanted guests at the dinner table that'll have them out of your hands in a hurry. Or should I say paws...?

Check out the whole recipe at Fabulous Foods now! Absolutely perfect for crappy aspiring chef whose every dish looks like charcoal. You can stuff up this dish and it'll still look intentional - plus it'll taste great too! Is that not a win-win situation?? =p

P.S. If that was right up your alley, then their gelatin brain moulds also promise to be a lot of fun!